Love Divine so Great and Wondorus...

One thing that I have personally struggled with since being saved is truly comprehending the love of my Lord and savior that He extends toward me. I love the old song Love divine so great and wondrous. My heart fills with joy each time I hear it, even as it is going through my mind it brings a sweet peace to my heart.

God's love is so profound, yet so real that all who are in Him may taste the sweet savor of it. It is not to far away, not hidden not even somewhere un attainable. It is right in front of us if we chose to see it or not, now that is a different story.

Many of us our troubled by our past. By what our lives used to be. We know that he has saved us and made us whole thought the shed blood on Calvary. Yet we feel that he could never love us. This is a lie from the pits of Hell. The Lord Jesus Christ loved us so much to give his life for our sins. Don't you think that this would be enough to show us. However we still wander through this life with a heavy burden of the way our lives used to be. God says our sin is as far as the east is from the west. He has blotted them out, and to him they are no more. That is why when we come to him for forgiveness of a sin that we may be dealing with over and over we are to mention it by name. Why? Because he has already forgotten it. It has already been covered by the crimson flood.

I thought I had conquered this feeling. I was wrong... I have been doing this devotional on Gods love. It has been amazing. I believe the more and more that you contemplate it the more and more you feel his tender hand. I believe that I have only tapped into the surface of my saviours love. What a spring that is ever flowing. Most of us have always heard that you grow more in your valleys then you do more on your mountain tops. He is ever sweeter and even more nearer. Yet there is still much to be learned on our mountains. I just don't think that we listen as well. We are much more humble when we are on our knees in a cold dark valley with no way out, but to come to Christ to show us the path.

His love is ever present. I know that I tend to over look all the little things that he has done for me. Well what I think are little really are small miracles =) In the devotional guide that I am following she suggests that you keep a praise journal and record every day what the LORD has done for you that day. If you have never tried this, I highly recommend it. IT IS AMAZING. When you really stop and think about all of the things through out the day that the LORD has done, big and small. The first day that I wrote I got my pen out thinking okay I will jot down a few things. Much to my surprise I found my self writing on a page and a half. My heart was jumping for joy as I praised the LORD for all of his answered prayers, the way that he intervened in curtain situations, and just his goodness to me and and my sweet little family. It was great. When you do this you can not help but feel how close the LORD is and his powerful love towards you.

I have struggled with this doubt of does God really love me as much as he loves his other Children. Though I very rarely acknowledge it. If you have never read the book "Lies women believe" I highly recommend it. The lie was given to me as I was having my third child Titus. I knew something was not right as we went to the hospital. I kept asking my husband do you think everything is going to be okay? I just want to go home and see the girl's again. He just kept re assuring me that all would be fine and that I needed to trust the LORD. However I was having that woman's intuition. A God given feeling I believe. I just knew that something was not right. I had had problem pregnancy's with both of my girls. But this one seemed a little better, not quit as bad.

After about a hour the doctors realized that it was not his head in the birth canal but his hand, so they took me for an emergency C section. I lost it, until Joshua asked everyone to leave so that we could pray.

The C section was not normal.. They ended up having to cut a cross on my uterus to get Titus out and he still came out breach. He did not breath for two minutes. I had no idea what was going on.. It had taken them a little over 45 minutes to get him out and they had about 5 doctors in there.

As I was laying there on the table and the chief doctor looked down at me and said " Mrs. Brown I know that you are only 24 years old, but I do not think you will have any more children." It tore me in two.. Joshua had been saying that he wanted to be done after Titus for he was worried about my health with future pregnancies, but I was just not havin' it. I prayed and prayed that the LORD would show me a for sure that he was right. I was so wrong for not trusting his leadership. But I was 24 and had always dreamed of 6 kids running around. Funny how Gods plans are not always the same as ours. But they always end up being better. At that moment I thought God does not want me to have any more kids. I am not a good mother. I do not deserve to raise Children for the LORD. Now when I look back this was nothing of the LORD. This is so hateful and spiteful. Not a Character of our loving Jesus.

Later on I learned that it was a miracle that I had, any of our children. I had a ring in the center of my uterus, one that caused me to have two sides to it. Hints the problem pregnancy's. This was not God showing me that he did not love me it was quite the opposite. He answered my prayer and showed me why I was not going to ever have a precious baby to carry for 9 months again. I was blessed far beyond measure. The doctors were amazed that I had ever had a vaginal delivery and my girls were big girls. 8.14 and 9.6.... Titus was my littlest one.

Even though I know that God loves me and that he has allowed me to have three children on loan to raise to honor and glorify him. I still long to feel that wonderful feeling of little feet kicking around inside. Thus I believe that I have struggled with Gods love. I know that this is not the only reason. But one of the bigger ones. And yet again, I say who am I to ever question my savior. He knows better than I...

God's love is so accessible. Are you willing to give him the love he deserves. When I was struggling with this right after the birth of Titus I have to be honest I was not as faithful to prayer and reading my Bible like I was before. Thank the LORD that Titus will be two in June and I did not stay on that detour very long. A few months was long enough for me. Don't get me wrong I know that there are days when I stray and do not give GOD the time that he deserves and wants from me. And for this I am truly sorry. For I know that I am the one missing out.

If we are not faithful to him then the further away he will seem. Yet he is still there, always calling us to come home! When you want to be close to him, he will never say no....You will feel his love for you I guarantee it....You will feel the joy the peace and the love that only He can give. His love is real. And must never be overlooked. Most of the time I think this lie is struggled with because we have not forgiven ourselves. So we feel like he has not forgotten it. This is just a lie, that old devil is sneaky. Make sure you kick him out and listen to what God says. He has forgotten, it is forgiven as long as you have asked and it is over. Stop dwelling on it and move on. There are great and mighty things that the LORD has for each one of us to do. Though they may seem little. All things are of value for the kingdom of heaven..

So do not forget that Jesus loves you. That is why that is one of the first songs we teach our children, is it not? "Jesus LOVE me this I know for the Bible tells me so". We need to sing that to our selves from time to time.

Always remember if you are doubting Gods love then you will never be able to tell others about it. Which is a shame. There are so many hurting people on a destructive path who need to hear the LOVE of our savior and what he did for you and me and them on the cross of Calvary.

I pray that we could all see Gods love the way that he would have us to see it and that we would go and tell another about his love for the lost and dieing world....

(Text to read... Psalm 139:17-19...Romans 8:38-39...Jeremaih 29:11...Zephaniah 3:17)

Because Of Him,

Brittany

Please remember that you will never know God's love until you have been saved by the blood, through repentance and Faith plus nothing minus nothing...If you have questions please let me know.... =)