I love this time of year. It is time to get out the sweaters and in no time at all the Holidays will be here. And depending on where you live right around the corner will bring a beautiful white winter wonderland. I am so praying that we will have snow here in North Carolina. Any how, this time of year is filled with so many memory making opportunities.
However this fall seems to have come with sort of a saddened stain to it. I miss Joshua even more now then I did in the summer time. All the smells of beautiful fall. The chill in the air and just the change of the season with my dearest love gone. And the I started to think about all that he will miss being away, He will miss Tatum's seventh birthday, Elyssa's sixth birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas the new year and our birthday. But then I thought to myself wait a minute, I am not going to through a pity party. Recently I have been reading the book of Job. It has been such a blessing to me in this time of trouble. Job found something to praise God for even in the midst of the darkest storm.
I was thinking to myself, I have three little sets of eyes on me all the time. They are watching and waiting to see how I will respond to the life changes that a deployment brings. I have decided that I am going to make every day special. Children are not impressed with the things that we give them or the money we spend on them. Sure it may seem like it up front. But most of all they desire our true love and affection and our time.
Recently Tatum was feeling down with Joshua being gone. She was having a very sad day... It was raining and gloomy and she was feeling unloved. I was so broken hearted by this. But I remembered at a military class they spoke on how this is very normal during a deployment and it is how the mother handles it that will make the most difference. Well being a Christian I went before the LORD with my plea. And I wrote her a little card. It is so fun now that she can read. I wrote a simple little note "To Tatum, Love Mommy... I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. You are very special to me. I am praying for you! Love Always, Mommy" I placed it on her bed on top of her clothes that she would be putting on that morning when she woke up ;)
When she came down she was all smiles and to be honest by this time and in the midst of all the morning chores I had gotten caught up in, I just thought she was in a pleasant mood. Until she asked Mommy.... May I have one of your special note cards? Of course I granted this request and about 15 minutes later she came down and handed me a card. My heart was thrilled. I did not expect anything back in return from the note that I had placed on her bed that morning. All I simply wanted was to be a blessing to my precious little six year old daughter who was missing her Daddy something terrible the day before. I opened the card and read "To Mommy, Love Tatum.... I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU... I know that you love me and Daddy to. I LOVE YOU MOMMY. Love Tatum Brown". As tears came to my eyes I felt that if I never accomplish anything in this life at all but to have my children be able to say to me "Mommy, I know you love me..." Then I have accomplished more then I could ever dream of.
I was glad that she felt loved and that most of all she knew she was loved. We all have days where we feel unloved, sad and that we are worth nothing. However this is a lie from our adversary. We are loved more then all the riches in this world. Our Lord loves us even when we ourselves feel un lovely! I sat back and thought.... Oh my soul how many times have I done this to God. Felt so down trodden and wanted to throw a pity party and say "no one loves me. I am all alone." When all the while he is standing there with open arms saying "my Child I love you more then the moon and starts. I gave My only son for you and I LOVE YOU....Remember I will never leave you nor forsake you." We are loved beyond measure. And that day when I was trying to be an encouragement to my daughter the child that God has so generously blessed me with. He sent a message to me through her. And I looked to him and said. "I know you love me Lord. I know I am not alone."
We are never alone. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. He is there. He is waiting to carry you through. Not only through the valley but he wants to walk on the mountain tops with you too...
Happy Fall...
In Christ,
Brittany Brown
Phil 4:16
